Here I am again. It's been a well rounded full blown 12 hours or so since I last wrote anything...and believe me, the time has flown by. I have been somewhat busy today. Well, when I say that, what I really mean is that I have been...lets just say occupied.
I left last night in a quandry. As I crawled into bed after a very mundane shift at work, my thoughts were only filled with one thing - the phone number I had in my pocket. Was I going to call it or was I going to throw it away, and reject yet another potential opportunity for love. These questions were swimming around my head for so long, I found myself lying in bed, wide awake, triyng to make patterns out of the shadows on the ceiling. I think I finally drifted off at around 2am. I had a restless night last night - just dreaming about crazy things (things of which I wont bore you with now!) and when my alarm woke me up with a startle at 9am, I realised that I wasn't any more rested than I was 7 hours previously. Typical!
I slipped into my dressing gown and slippers, had some cereal and watcher Jeremy Kyle (another morning ritual). This episode was about a woman who had rejected men all her life and was sick and tired of being alone. She was, like, 45 or something, and due to her terrible past and rough upbringing, she felt like she could never trust a man. I started thinking about myself, all alone in this flat, huddled up in my dressing gown, with nothing but my cat to keep me company. Jasper is always so understanding and intuitive. He knows exactly when something is wrong. I think cats have instinct like that, don't they? Anyway, he made a comfortable spot on my lap, whilst I lay there comparing myself to this lonely heart on TV in front of me. I started thinking about the phone number...everything just seemed to coincidental this morning. Seriously. I just kept getting this feeling that I was getting nothing but signs telling me to call this guy...call this guy...CALL THIS GUY...at the end of the day, he's just a human being right? Nothing to be scared about. If I get scared, just hang up...
I thought sod it and made my decision. Just after 1pm this afternoon I made the call...it took me long enough though! I was trying to rehearse what I was going to say to Jasper. He was just purring at me...didn't really help me. Eventually, I got so fed up with worrying about the same thing over and over again, that I just picked up the receiver and dialled the number. 1 ring...2 rings...3 rings...he wont pick up...4 rings...5 rings...must be out with his mates...6 rings...7 rings...or his girlfriend...8 rings...why would he give my his number if he has a girlfriend?...9 rings...10 rings...maybe he thinks I am just one of those 'easy' types...11 rings...well, I most certainly am not! How dare he pressume...12 rings...git. Think he can make me the 'bit on the side', does he? I am not about to let....
..and then he picked up...
I hung up about 15 minutes later, my heart racing, my pulse beating and my skin all goosebumpy. One of the most surreal conversations I had probably ever had! His name is Nick and he lives in Kensington. That was just the start! He told me all sorts of things about himself and whilst he did I hung off every word he said. I asked him questions and he answered. I just couldn't seem to shut up. Maybe I was just trying to avoid the dreaded 'So, enough about me. Lets talk about you' line. I mean, that sort of stuff should be saved for the first date, right? The conversation finished with me knowing lots and lots about him, and he knowing hardly anything about me, other than my name, my age, where I lived, how much I hate my job and when I was next available.
Which, by the way, made me respond with fright and panic, and I blurted out 'I am not sure really. Erm, let me check my diary and call you back?'....rule number one...never say YOU'LL call back. That's just a blatent code for telling someone you arent interested without saying "I'm not interested"...
So, it's 10:30 at night now, and I don't have to go into work. I am sat in my flat on my new PC (which I am starting to get used to!) with my thoughts playing ping pong in my head...back and forth...back and forth. I am trying to think when I am next available. I guess he'll want to go on a date or something? Do you know how long it is since I've been on a date?
Too long, that's for sure.
