This is Annie Ball

I got home and felt pleasantly content. My flat wasn't its usual mess and the world around me seemed to be picking up quite well.

I sat down with a cup of tea and opened the jobs section of the paper. I wasn't looking for anything in particular. Just something. Something that could bring in the pennies. My savings account was drying up and I needed to start making money for rent.

I found a few interesting positions - admin clerk for a travel group, receptionist at the local hospital and data input clerk for the amateur swimming association. All rubbish, all dead end but all offering to pay quite well. I circled the prospective jobs and sat back to take a minute. Could I really see myself in any of those jobs? Truth is, of course not. But, would I have to bite the bullet and try one of them out? Truth is, most probably.

I got up and moved over to my sofa, lit a cigarette (I'm still trying to quit...unsuccessfully) and switched on the TV. Jasper came bounding onto my lap as soon as I got comfortable, making me jump and spilling my tea all over my legs.

"JASPER! You bloody cat." I yelled, as the burning sensation started to kick in.

I got up and moved into the kitchen to wipe myself down, when I got a phone call. My brain quickly processed the age old question "Who could that be?". Who are all the people in the world that would want to call me? Zoe, Sarah or Will? Possibly. Nick? God, I hope not. Robin? That would be nice, but I only saw him an hour ago, and I never gave him my number. If it did turn out to be him, that would be slightly creepy - even though that's how Nick got in touch with me, but let's forget about that for now! Could it be my Mum? Do I have another lecture about how I'm wasting my life in London in store?

After the fifth ring, I answered. Well, at least one of my guesses was right. It was Zoe.

"Hi Annie. I'm just ringing to let you know that the police have tracked down Wills attacker. They just notified us, and I thought you would want to know too."

"They got him? You're kidding?"

"No. Not at all. They were following a suspect for 48 hours, and then last night, apparently, they caught just before he attacked someone else. He was in a different park this time, waiting for someone to walk by. Of course, the only person that did was an undercover police man, and when the attacker jumped out of what ever bush he had concealed himself in, hoards of policemen appeared out of nowhere and pinned him to the ground. Will has been asked to make an identification. He's a bit worried, because he hardly saw the guys face, but he reckons he could try. He's going down to the police station in about an hour, and Annie, he's asked if you would go with him."

"Really? Why me? I mean, of course I will, but why not you or Sarah?"

"I don't know. He just said that he wanted to you go with him because he feels like you're the only one that won't judge him. I took a little bit of offence to that, but it's what Will wants."

"Well, if that's the case, why didn't Will call me himself?" I asked, starting to feel a little under pressure.

"He was going to, but he's been on the phone all day to the police and to his mum, and he's exhausted. He's just having a power nap now before he goes to the station."

"Ah right. Okay. We'll, do want me to pop round to your house then? We can go from there?"

"Yes, that sounds fine."

"I'll see you in about fifteen minutes."

With that I hung up the receiver. I couldn't quite believe that the attacker had been caught. Thank god. Will might actually start acting normal again now.

I thought back to the way he was to me in the park earlier on today. There certainly a vibe that didn't feel right between us. He was quiet in general, and didn't say much to any of us, but he seemed especially strange towards me. I figured that he has had alot on his mind recently.

I quickly got showered and changed and headed out of the door. Stepping onto a bright, sunny London street really makes you feel good about yourself. Most probably because the sun rarely shines this time of year in London.

But, as it was such a nice day, I decided to walk to Zoe's house. It wasn't all that far really, and besides, it had been a while since I had been for a walk. It seems like these days all I sit in is a bus or a taxi or a train.

I arrived at Zoe's house and knocked on her door. Will had been staying here since he left hospital. The main reason for this was because Zoe's house was literally round the corner from the hospital, and if anything was to go wrong during Nick's healing process, he could be quickly transported there without any fuss.

Zoe answered.

"Hello Annie. Will is in the living room. He's all ready to go, so there's not much point in you coming in." She called Will and he appeared at the door, looking slightly forlorn, but for the first time, not exhausted.

"Hi Annie. Thanks for coming with me. I needed someone to...be with me, ya know?" explained Will.

"Of course. No worries. Lets call a cab and get down there shall we?"

"Well, it's a nice day. I was going to suggest that we walked down? I could do with the exercise and, in all honesty, it's been a while since I have gone walking anywhere." He presented a good case.

"Okay, fine. We'll walk. It's not too far."

"Great." Will turned to Zoe, "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yeah, of course. Don't rush back though. Make sure you get this bastard."

"Of course I will."

Will and I walked through town to the police station. It had been a very long time since we had done anything together, and I missed him. It was so nice just to hang out again, and better still, we didn't discuss the attack. We talked about all sorts of things - just like we used to. I told him about Nick and brought him up to date on Robin. He was interested and happy for me. I asked him what was wrong in the park, and he just said he was tired and in pain. His stab wound still hurt. It was difficult for him to walk, but he still managed to do it.

Eventually, we got to the police station. It was incredible how soon it was all over. We walked in and the desk sergeant ushered us into a large booth with a window. A DI walked in and introduced himself, saying that he was grateful for this and that Will was a very brave man for doing what he was doing.

"There's only one problem." started Will. "During my attack, I never really saw the mans face. I got glimpses of it underneath his hood, but nothing totally clear."

"That's fine. Don't worry about that. We are 95% sure that we have the man. All we need is for you to take a look and just tell us if anything comes back to you. Anything at all."

They brought the man out and stood him in front of the window. Will and I looked at him straight in the eyes. The DI told us that he wouldn't be able to see us. Thank god...this man was scary.

I looked round at Will and saw a blank expression on his face. Then, I noticed a little bead of sweat trickle down the side of his face. He moved up closer to the glass, almost pressing completely against it, and looked at the man for what seemed like an eternity.

Will stepped back looking frightened. He turned to the DI.

"I am pretty sure that's him. The build looks similar. I can't be sure though."

"I understand. It was worth a shot though." the DI replied in his broad Scottish accent.

"Hold on a minute." Will interrupted. "Does this room have microphones in it?"

"Yes, there's one built into to every observation booth."

"Sir, do you think you could get him to say one phrase down the microphone to me?"

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Listen, when I was attacked I didn't really see a face, but I certainly heard alot of words and speaking. I remember the tone and style of his voice as clear as I can hear yours right now. I am sure if you get him to say something, I will know if he is he right man." Will explained. It sounded like a good idea to me.

"Very well. I'll get it sorted now." the DI said as he left the room. He was gone for all of 1 minute before returning to us. "Right, the microphone has been turned on. What I need from you now is what you want him to say. Maybe there is a phrase that you can remember from your attack that would trigger some kind of recognition?"

"Ask him to say 'You shouldn't have done that'." Will said.

"Okay. Done." said the DI as he wrote the phrase down on paper and took it outside.

About a second later, an officer entered the booth with the suspect in and handed him the paper, giving him clear instructions to read the phrase out loud when he was told to do so. I could hear what was going on because the DI turned the internal speakers up on our side of the window.

The suspect said the phrase.

I looked at Will.

His skin turned slightly pale.

He looked down towards the floor, then at me, then at the DI.

.....

"That's him." said Will, after a long pause.

I went over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He had done so well. He was so brave and I was so impressed.

Before too long, we were out of that station and walking back home. The sun had started to go down slightly and the traffic was getting worse and worse, obviously reaching rush hour.

On the way home, we stopped off at a bar and had a stiff drink each. It had been quite a day.

"Thank you for coming with me again, Annie. You don't know how much it means to me."

"Hey, Will, that's fine. What else are friends for?"

"I know, but I just wanted to thank you. You've been a really great friend throughout the time that we have known each other, and I have always known that I could trust you. Today you solidified that even more."

"Well, you know that I am always here for you, Will."

"Thank you. You have no idea how good it feels to finally have this weight lifted. I was so sure that was him. Positive. And now he's been caught, I can start trying to get back on with my life. I can maybe even think about moving back into my flat...or better yet, get a new flat. Start a fresh." said Will, as he planned out the next big steps of his recovery.

"It all sounds great to me. But I think we should be heading back now. I need an early night, and I think Zoe might be wondering where we are."

"Yeah, alright. But, can we arrange to meet again soon? Just the 2 of us? Sometimes, I get sick of Sarah and Zoe. They just wind me up sometimes. But, when we are hanging out, it's all good."

"Of course we can. I will call you tomorrow."

"Great, we can arrange something then." said Will.

At this stage, it was dark outside, and unsafe to walk home. I called a taxi and it picked us up. It first took us to Zoe's house and then on to my flat.

It was probably the longest day I have had in a while, and as I climbed the stairway to my front door, I certainly felt the strain take its toll. My legs started to feel like lead. I just couldn't wait for my bed.

By the time I reached my front door, I noticed that something was different. Then I realised that the bouquet of roses lying on the floor probably had something to do with that! Someone had left me the most dazzling and wonderful looking flowers I had ever seen. They were just sitting there, outside my front door, waiting for me to collect them and let them into my life.

I picked them up happily - I adore red roses - and read the card that came with them.

"I'm sorry. Let's talk soon. N x"

Nick.

My heart started beating and I felt myself getting all excited. Nick had been here and left me roses. He wanted to talk to me again.

At the point I heard my phone ringing from the other side of my door. That had to be him! Talk about timing!

I grabbed my handbag and fumbled for my keys. I couldn't find them anywhere. I could hear my phone going crazy on yards away from me. Damn this door...whoever invented doors?

Finally, I found them, buried underneath my purse. I quickly opened the door, placed the roses on the kitchen side, and literally dived on the phone, grabbing it at the last second and trying desperately to say "hello" between breaths...

The best thing about meeting someone new for the first time is, without a doubt, the fact that you can just completely be yourself with them. You don't have to worry about them knowing all the little sordid details about your history - who you've slept with, who you haven't slept with, who you've insulted, who you've assaulted, how you made a drunken idiot out of yourself at your bosses birthday party and how you casually winded up unemployed.

Robin was a really sweet guy, but more importantly, he was really really funny. Hilarious actually. The way he spoke to me, the way he mocked others around him and even the stories and anecdotes he told me - he said them in such a way that made crack up every time. I always liked funny men. It's almost been important to me, but recently, looks and general gorgeousness had taken priority. Normally, I wouldn't have looked twice at Robin - he's no Orlando Bloom - but, once I got chatting to him (rather awkwardly in the park) I realised that despite his non-Orlando Bloominess, he was a really great person.

We walked out of the park and round the corner to this little cafe that had just opened up called "The Cheesecake Shop". It sounded and looked really quite sweet, and boy, do I love cheesecake.

"Have whatever you would like." Robin said. Wow. I had never been offered that before. Not even when I was a child. My father was always strict on how much one child should ever get...lets just say a lump of coal and a cotton bud would've been his idea of a merry Christmas.

I browsed the menu and was amazed and the diversity. It wasn't just cheesecakes, although the displays in the fridge suggested that cheesecakes were there speciality. There were sandwiches, panini's, soups and all kinds of drinks. It was a very good looking menu. I decided to pick a BLT panini. I have always had a soft spot for bacon, lettuce and tomato combo's, but on a panini? Now that was something new.

"That sounds great, I'll have the same." said Robin to the waiter, who was either Albanian or Polish, but either way, didn't speak much English.

"Well, this is rather pleasant, isn't it?" commented Robin, as he sipped his coffee.

"Yes, very. I had heard about this place but never got around to testing it out."

"Well, being a critic of literature, I tend to be quite harsh when it comes to things like this. Okay, sure, I don't make a living out of critiquing restaurants and cafes, but even so, it's good practice all the same!"

"So, you are a book critic?"

"Indeed I am. I also write a rather hard hitting column in the Evening Post about local plays and shows etc. It's quite a good deal. I am invited to go to different types of performances, then the paper pays me 5p per word. And I am always honest. The more people who read my column, the better, because I get a certain percentage of paper sales for that day, so it all comes back to Robin. One way or the other." he explained.

"How interesting. Sounds like you lead quite an exciting life."

"Well, I'm not so sure if I would describe it as exciting. But, at least I get paid to do something that I enjoy. I most certainly am in a minority when it comes to that."

That was true. I can only dream of what it would be like to get paid for doing something that I enjoyed.

And then the dreaded question...

"What do you do for a living, Annie?"

He had to ask that didn't he? What was I suppose to say? I was an unemployed bum that had been too busy dedicating her time to her failing love life to even look for something new? Well, I guess so...

"I am actually in between jobs at the moment." I finally said. "It is really just a case of, my last boss fired me because he thought I was the weak link in his chain. It was some dumb old call centre anyway, so it didn't really bother me. I just have to find myself another job. I can only live off my savings for so long." There. As brutally honest as I could make it. Will it put him off me? Well, if it does, then is he really a man that I want to be associated with? No. Not if he can't accept me for who I am.

"Well, it was only a call centre job. Besides, if I worked in one of them, I am sure I would get fired within a week!" Was that him accepting my truth? "Do you have a degree, Annie?" This one I could answer with pride!

"Yes, I have a 2.2 in fine art."

"An artist you say? How very cultured. Do you paint or draw?"

"Well, both really, but I would say painting was my strength. I have always dreamed about having my own exhibition, where I could display my works and have people looking at them, trying to figure them out. Getting paid to do what you love again!" I explained.

"Indeed. Well, do you have any paintings at home?"

"Yes, tons. But, I doubt anyone will want to see them, let alone buy them!"

"Oh, don't be so negative. I'm sure they are better than you think. You must show them to me. I am a great lover of art, and can appreciate it on many different levels." See? Cultured. Sarah was right. This man was the human definition of the word.

Our food arrived. The BLT panini's looked lovely. I picked mine and sighed discreetly - they had burnt it underneath. Nevertheless, I took a bite out of it, and started eating it. Robin was doing the same. About 5 chews later we both stopped, looked at each other, looked at our food, looked back at each other and exchanged what was looks of horror.

"What is in this panini?" I enquired.

"I think it's mustard." Robin replied.

"Mustard? In a panini? I thought it was always served with mayonnaise?"

"Yes, it is. But, obviously to these people, it's not." He got up with the menu and walked over to the counter. I overhead him speak to the waiter, saying that he did not want mustard on his panini.

"There is no mention on the menu that mustard is included in this sandwich, and therefore, I am not sure you should be putting it on, are you?"

I couldn't quite hear what the waiter said, but I heard Robins comeback.

"Well, you will care. Do you know what I do for a living? I write a column in the Evening Post. The critic column. I hope you can look forward to your first piece of bad press," at which point he placed his dish on the counter turned around and ushered me out of there. As we were leaving, the waited uttered something in foreign at us. God knows what he said, but I can only assume it wasn't "Have a good day, come back soon."

After the argument that Robin had with the waiter in the cafe, I was a little worried that I was with a man who lost his temper easily. When you are with a man who you have only known for the best part of 2 hours, these kinds of things pray on your mind. However, on the flip side, I have to admit, seeing him ripping the waiter to shreds and saying he would write his "first piece of bad press" sort of turned me on a little. There's nothing better than seeing a man with power. No, sorry, there is - seeing a man with power and then using it. Robin was becoming more and more attractive in my eyes, and I was starting to feel like meeting him in the park was meant to happen, in some bizarre way.

"Well, that was a disappointment. I am sorry. I had no idea it would be a sham. But, you have to try these places out to really know for sure. Now, I know for sure that I will never be going back there again." said Robin. "By the way, don't worry about the argument I had in there. I wasn't really angry. It's just my way of exerting authority. It's quite fun actually. I will of course be writing a terrible review on that place. If you would like to read it, it will be in tomorrow's post."

"Really? I'll be sure to buy that then. I would love to see your work."

"Great stuff. Well, I'm sorry that this has had to end on a down tone. But, we'll just blame the dodgy panini's!" he joked. "I am afraid I have to go now. I have some work to do at home, but it was very nice meeting you. I have to admit, it was rather random, and 10 out of 10 for your impressive ice breaker in the park by the way!"

"Oh, thank you. I am glad to have been of service." I said, glowing red.

"Me too. If you would like to do this again sometime, here is my card. You'll see there are two number on the bottom. Call the first one. The second one will just ring out if I'm not in my office."

"Oh, great. Thank you. I will call you sometime."

"Great. It was nice meeting you, Annie Ball. Take care now." he smiled as he walked down the street. He seemed to have an air of cheekiness to the way he walked. He seemed to have a certain bounce that made me want to walk by his side all the more. But, instead, I turned around and walked away in the opposite direction, towards the bus stop that would take me home, with a discreet smile on my face.

I spent the afternoon telling Zoe, Sarah and Will about Nick and the events of the night before. I ran through a few times, just to get their opinions and to, eventually, reassure me that it wasn't my fault.

Zoe said that he was afraid of commitment, Sarah said he was gay and Will said he wasn't worth my time, especially if he is just going to up and leave whenever anything gets slightly more serious.

All good advice, but none of it was what I wanted to hear. I wanted them to tell me that it was okay and that it was still worth chasing him. I wanted them to tell me that I should arrange another date and try and be less full on (even though I was about as full on as a broken down train last night!) but they didn't say anything of the sort. They just fulfilled the perfect friend role - once you get hurt by someone else, they will chew them up and spit them out to try and make you feel better. Sure, making me feel like I am too good for him is a nice way to put it, but I can't stop thinking about the tosser...seriously. It's like I've taken a Nick pill and I am just constantly trippin'.

"Ya know what Annie, you should try a more intellectual type of man." said Zoe. "Someone who is deep and literate and enjoys cultural things like museums and art galleries. I'm telling you, those are the type of men who treat you well. Not that I am speaking from experience or anything, because half the time Henry makes me feel about as cultured as a toothbrush, but nevertheless, I still think that is the way to go."

Poor Zoe. Henry really treats her badly. I mean, for an oldie, he could do an awful lot worse. He must be considered a hero by his mates that he has a woman who is so much ounger than him, but still, he takes advantage. Bastard.

"Zoe, that sounds wonderful, but lets think about this for one minute. Me? Culture? When was the last time I did anything remotely cultured? My idea of culture is switching onto BBC 1 on a Sunday afternoon to find "Songs of Praise" in full swing, only to mock it for about a minute before flicking over to Eastenders or something." I exclaimed.

"That's where you're wrong, Annie. You are an ex-art student. You studied culture for god sake. There must be something inside you that could latch on to some book worm..." insisted Zoe.

"Latch on? Oh, thanks very much Zo, make me sound like a leech why don't you? And, besides, I didn't study culture. I studied too much alcohol intake and ridiculously late nights and living in squalor. Fine art was right at the bottom of the priority list in those days, so, in turn, I know as much about art as Hitler does about being nice to people."

"I think what Zoe's trying to say here, Annie, is that you should raise your standards a little. Don't just go for the first guy that is willing to look at you for a few seconds of his day. I mean, really, the way you met Nick was slightly unconventional, and lets face it, a tad creepy." added Sarah.

"Well, maybe creepy and unconventional is okay. Maybe that's how I want to fall in love. Leaving things like this up to fate is always a good idea." I defended my corner rigorously, quoting the knowledge I got from my "What Men Want" books.

"Just try nicer guys. Don't just go for the hunk of the pack, ya know?" she added.

I had noticed that Will hadn't said anything. I looked over at him, sitting on the grass, looking slightly vacant. He still had bruising around his cheeks where he had been punched, and he had some cuts on his arms that would soon become scars, forever reminding him about the ordeal, but in general, he was getting better.

"Will, are you okay? You've been awfully quiet." I enquired.

"Have I? Oh, sorry. I was just listening to the conversation."

"Well, what do you think?" I asked.

"I think he is a closet homosexual to turn you down, Annie."

Has crude as his phrasing was, I found his comment rather sweet and touching. I looked at Will. As he spoke, he looked up at me and a slight softness took over his bruised face, and his familiar smile began to emerge again. I had been a long time since I had seen that.

"Aww, Will. Thank you. But, I very much doubt he is gay."

"Well, that's just what I think." He mumbled. I was getting some strange vibes from him today, but before I could ask him what was wrong, Sarah piped up again with a rather interesting idea.

"Look over there Annie. You see that man sitting under the tree? Reading a book? He looks very intellectual and cultured, not to mention, rather good looking. Why don't you go and talk to him?"

"Yeah, right." I replied.

"Oh, what's the worse that could happen?"

"I could introduce myself to him."

"Well, I think you should at least try. Go on. Forget weirdo Nick who walked out on you. Go talk to bookworm man under the tree!" Sarah always had a way with words.

Before I knew it, Zoe was encouraging me to go. Will was staying quiet. Zoe and Sarah got so annoying, eventually, I just decided to go for it. I started thinking to myself that it could be quite fun going to talk to a complete stranger. I mean, it was always on my list of things to do before I turn 30, and that isn't all that far away now, so I may as well begin ticking things off.

I got up off the grass and brushed the blades off my trousers. I casually began to stroll over to the tree where this stranger was sitting. I looked over my shoulder at my friends who were whispering and giggling whilst looking at me. When Sarah caught my eye, she made a WHOOPING kind of a sound that made my freeze on my spot and shoot evils in her general direction, in an attempt to make her shut up. Friends, honestly. They will look after your own interests, until they can embarrass you at the first opportunity.

I closed in on the stranger under the tree. I started noticing details. He had short, cropped hair and quite rounded features. He wasn't what I would call drop dead gorgeous, but he was attractive, no doubt about it. He was quite rounded all over in fact. He wasn't fat. He wasn't even chubby. But, he had the kind of figure that you could see getting fat in later years. He was wearing blue jeans and a brown corduroy jacket. The white shirt underneath finished off the look and one singular pendant hung round his neck a fell down to his chest level. That was a nice touch.

He seemed very engrossed in his book. What was I supposed to do? I was only a few metres away from him now, and I knew that if I went any closer he would look up at me. How do you disturb a man who is reading a book under a tree? I started thinking of ways to break the ice...all were pathetic, but I could only stand in the middle of the park on my own for so long before people began thinking I was a physco, so I just bit the bullet and took my chance on the first thing that came to my head.

I marched up to him, walking right past him in fact. Almost passing him completely. He didn't even look up. As I walked past him, I 'accidentally' noticed what he was reading. Something called "The Age of Man". I stopped, turned around and opened my mouth.

"The Age of Man? Oh, I love that book. It really makes a great read, you know." I blurted out. He look up at me. Stared at me for a few seconds. It felt like years. I was just stood there, smiling like a geek, waiting for this stranger, who I had disturbed, to say something in reply. Eventually, he did.

"Oh, you like it do you?" he said with a sly smirk. "That is strange. I have never met a woman who enjoys this book. I have always wanted to though."

"Well, you're in luck then! I am your woman!" I joked, nervously. What in gods name was I doing? "The Age of Man is where it is...at." IDIOT! DON'T USE SLANG TO COMPLIMENT A BOOK YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT!!!!

It is indeed where it is...at. Tell me, what did you think about chapter 7? I have always wanted to discuss it with someone, but there's never been anyone around. Would you mind?" he said as he gestured to me sitting on the grass in front of him.

"Really?" I said nervously. "Okay." I sat down on the grass and started trying to think up something clever about chapter 7 in a book I had never heard of, let alone read. "I would say that Chapter 7 was interesting. Slightly...slow, though. I mean, the story line is a bit...unimaginative. Plus, it could never really, erm, happen. I mean, the man in the story is obviously at an age where, erm, he, is, ya know? slightly, erm, older than he was, ya know...before? and I think chapter 7 is good, erm, for...that." What a 100% carrot moron I actually was. That didn't even make sense.

The man in front of me put his book down, raised is hands and started to clap. Then he started to laugh. Then, he was clapping AND laughing.

"That is the best load of bullshit I have ever heard about a book! And I should know, I critique them. My whole profession is based on bullshit, but you...you have just surpassed all known levels! What an ice breaker. Bravo!" he carried on laughing and clapping. I felt my cheeks getting hotter and hotter. Damn it, I had completely blown my chances of a good first impression. As usual.

"Well, you sussed me out. I'm sorry to have wasted your time." I said morbidly. I started to get up, when he stopped me.

"Where are you going? C'mon, don't tell me that's it. You spend at least 5 minutes of your day coming up with something as colourful as that, just so you can have an excuse to talk to me, and then decide to leave when you think it hasn't been successful? Well that's not very good is it?" he said, all the while with a massive smile on his face. He had blue eyes that lit up when he smiled. I quite liked that.

"Well, I've just made a complete fool out of myself, so I won't bother interrupting you anymore." His smile faded.

"Don't be silly. You walked over here, by yourself, and hit with rather a terrible, albeit imaginative, line. I think that at least deserves a coffee. Dont you?"

Was this stranger offering to take me out for a coffee? Had I actually cracked it? Could I finally talk to strangers without being an idiot?

"Well, erm, that would be, ya know..." SPIT YOUR WORDS OUT WOMAN...

"Great? Fabulous? Lovely?" he said, trying to finish my sentence off for me. I sighed.

"That would be lovely."

"Excellent! Well, there's a lovely new place round the corner that only opened last week. It is supposed to serve a mean coffee and cake. Shall we stroll over there and test it out?" he proposed.

"Yes, that sounds great."

"Very glad to see that you are enthused about my suggestion." He stood up and offered his hand to me." I'm Robin, by the way." he introduced.

"Hi Robin, I'm Annie." I said, shaking his hand.

I nipped back over to Zoe and Sarah. I had noticed that Will had gone. When I asked them where, they told me he wasn't feeling too well and just wanted to be by himself. Odd that Will would act like that, but they told me not to worry. I quickly told them what happened as I grabbed my bag and jacket. They were happy for me, giving me the usual friendly lines of "Go get him girl" and "One more name for the old black book then." but despite their comments and friendly jabs, I was happy. Happy that Sarah had suggested it, happy that I had gone through with it and happy that this guy, who seemed really lovely and had a wicked sense of humour, was about to buy me coffee and cake from the new place round the corner! He knew the way to a woman's heart, that's for sure.

I said goodbye to Zoe and Sarah and nipped back over to where Robin was waiting. As we turned around and started walking towards the park exit, I looked over my shoulder to see my friends smiling and winking at me.

I had a good feeling about this. I don't know why. I just did.

What a night that was!

Okay, so firstly, I am not in the best states of mind this morning. That'll be thanks to my good old friend, Jack Daniels, and yes, I know, last night was supposed to be a classy, romantic and mature evening where Nick and I really hit it off and realised our feelings for each other. Was it? God no...

First of all, Nick arrived in a really gorgeous looking black shirt with baggy/slouch jeans. He had black boots tucked underneath the flare of his jeans which really completed his image. He walked through the door with an air of grace and underlying confidence that REALLY did it for me! In his hand was a bottle of red wine and in the other, one single rose. Very nice touch! Brownie point going up and up and up some more! Seriously, if Nick had been a football team right then, and brownie points was what he was competing for, he would finish top of the league every time! (my football knowledge comes from my Dad and an unfortunate ex boyfriend who thought it was polite to jump on the coffee table screaming at the top of his lungs when Chelsea either scored a goal or were "unfairly" fouled. A grown man shouting "REF!" every 4 seconds is not really the best turn on, but albeit, I learnt about the sport.)

So, after I had dished a billion brownie points for the wine and the rose, he took his boots off and walked into the lounge, where he just rested himself on my sofa. It was almost like he floated down to the sitting position, he was that smooth. Maybe I was just hallucinating as I watched him move. I made sure that my gormless expression of lust, complemented with an over salivated mouth, was quickly gone by the time he looked at me. I didn't want him to see me drooling like some pink haired member from Grease, did I? No, Annie...composure, classiness, maturity and grace...hopefully that will be enough to get him in between my bed sheets...oops - there goes the classiness. Still, I had been thinking about Nick and my bedsheets for quite some time, so why change now?

"Would you like some of this wine?"
"Sure, that would be great."

I proceeded to the kitchen and uncorked the bottle, letting the aroma fill the air. It was very posh wine. Quite expensive looking and smelling...this guy must have a pretty penny or two. I poured 2 glasses and went back to the lounge, where Nick was standing up, looking at the pictures dotted around the wall.

"That's my family. My Mum and Dad. And, obviously, a very young looking me." I explained, trying to sound less and less embarrassed.
"Only child?" Nick replied rather monotonously.
"I'm afraid so. This just means I'm spoilt and bratty when I can't get my own way!" I joked in a rather unfortunate manner. Nick just turned around to me and let a grin dance around his mouth, obviously the type of grin to "humour the nervous girl" but nevertheless, a grin is a grin.
"Who are these people?" Nick asked, pointing to a rather modest frame, hanging above my television.
"Oh, they are my closest friends. Zoe, Sarah and Will."
"Ah right, I see. This Will looks a bit familiar. Does he work in a cafe?"
"No. Not that I know of. But, I wouldn't put it past Will to have a secret life on the side! He's like that sometimes...quite theatrical." I explained. Was I going to tell Nick about Wills recent accident? No, why would he care? And, besides, I didn't want him to think that I was friends with a bunch of loons.

The night kicked off to a wonderful start. We chatted, relaxed, drank wine and laughed alot about all sorts of things. I told him what I used to do as a job and he teased my about it, and then I told him what I did for a degree, and yet again, he teased me about it. I didn't mind though, because I fancied him so much, it gave me an excuse to turn the flirting up. But, I realised halfway into the night, that the flirting was just one way. On my side...why wasn't he being overly flirtatious? I mean, how many times does a woman have to "accidentally" touch a mans thigh for him to get the message? Well, if tonight is anything to go by, many many times. By the time the dinner was ready, I must've gotten to know his leg more than him, the amount of times I casually dropped an eager palm onto it! Still, when a guy doesn't get it, he just doesn't get it.

In many ways, men are like hard drives from computers. They claim to be reliable, secure and safe, but they never are, and they take a very very VERY long time to repair when they fail. Not only that, but when you buy a computer for the first time, the hard drive is empty. There is nothing there. You need to add different files and folders and programmes to make it worth using...hard drives don't know what to do unless you tell it exactly. So, here I was, dishing out a pasta dish that I had cooked to, what was turning out to be a typical hard drive man.

"I hope you like pasta." I said hesitantly.
"Yes, of course I do. My mother is Italian, so I spent most of my childhood eating the stuff." That'll explain the olive skin. I just thought he was well tanned!
"Wow, Italian huh? That is rather exotic." I said in the most provocative and alluring way I could. God, was I really that desperate to get this guy to kiss me? Well, looking at my track record for kisses and how long the guy hangs around afterwards, I would say, yes, I am very desperate indeed!
"Well, exotic is one word. I would say it was just an annoyance. Most people think that being half Italian is really amazing. All those holidays to Rome to see Grandparents and not to mention being fluent in the beautiful language. But, it's not all that great. My Mother was a very a strict catholic and if I ever stepped a foot out of line, that would it. Out came the cane or the slipper or the soap. Not pleasant." Nick explained with a degree of upset.

Suddenly I felt all awkward. So, he was telling me that when he was a naughty little boy his mother used to use old school methods of punishment and discipline because she was a fanatical catholic Italian woman? Well, that doesn't sound all that bad.

"It couldn't have been all that bad Nick. I was lucky if I got yelled at for something when I was a kid. My parents' barely even noticed me. I may as well have been invisible to them. I didn't know what discipline was when I was a young girl. I just did what I pleased and noone got in my way. It sounds great, but looking back, it really wasn't. I would've killed for some attention - some acknowledgement. But I never got any. So, I would be naughty to get them to see me. But, they never did." I explained, trying to find some common ground to break the awkward air.
"Well, I would've chosen invisibility over regular beatings any day. And it wasn't just my mother. My father...why am I even telling you this?" Nick suddenly said.
"It's okay Nick. You can tell me anything." I lied. Of course, I wanted him to open up to me, but I wasn't really sure if him telling me anything was a good idea. At this stage...
"Well, seen as I started, I may as well finish. My Father used to beat my Mother, and then later on, my Mother would turn her frustration and sadness on me. She didn't have any other way of dealing with it."

Nick carried on telling me his life story. He had left home when he was just 17 and ended up living in B&B's across London. Luckily, his Father was wealthy, so he had a large savings account from the pocket money he had accumulated. At this point, I had moved my chair around to his side of the table. I thought it would be a more...understanding place to listen. Of course, this was utter rubbish. I felt sorry for him and his story was slightly heart breaking. I wanted to console him. He was upset. He didn't seem angry. He was perfectly normal, just sitting back with his wine glass in one hand, casually telling me about his life. I guess he was just giving me some background, I don't know, but for some reason, I was compelled to offer him a friendly hug.

This is when the disaster struck.

He accepted the hug. Thank god. He moved in to my embrace and nestled into my shoulder. He felt warm and very comfortable. His ruffled hair was tickling my face, but I didn't care. He smelt really good - fresh and cool, almost as if his cologne was mountain air itself. Then, as he started to pull back and return to his previous position, I stupidly let my female ways get the better of me, leaned in, placed my lips on his.

He immediately pulled away, looking stunned and slightly uncomfortable. He stood up, mumbling something about the time and his last taxi home. I got up to try and intervene his panic, but he continued to spiral out of control, moving down to the door, grabbing his boots in his hands and leaving my flat in his socks. Well, he didn't just leave. He did say goodbye and that he would call me. For some reason he told me that it was nice to meet me, even though he had met me once before.

In the space of 5 minutes, this dream man had vanished from my evening as quickly as he had entered it. I just know it was my stupid attempt at trying to kiss him, but I couldn't help it. It was the perfect moment. We were hugging, he had just opened up to me about his childhood and I was getting high off his man smell!! no wonder I tried to kiss him.

But I did not expect him to freak out like he did. Perhaps he just didn't want me as much as I wanted him. Typical. It's always Annie who makes herself look like the easy one...

I always read things about how men over jump the mark and try and take advantage of you on the first date, but that never seems to happen to me. It's always me who carries that responsibility. The responsibility of making a fool out of myself, especially in front of men I really like. No wonder I'm single. Men won't come near me, not even if I was the last female on the planet. Oh, why did I have to try and kiss him? ANNIE!

Well, after he left, I felt so low and humiliated, I cracked open some JD and mixed some coke with it, settled in front of the TV with a glass and channel hopped all night long. What an end to a potentially perfect evening.

Of course the glass of JD and coke turned into 2 glasses, then 3, then 4 and finally a whole bottle. This is why I feel like the London underground is running through my head this morning. Commuters, foreign kids and lost individuals clumped around through my skull this morning as I slowly started to come to terms with what an idiot I was last night.

I fell asleep and woke up on my sofa, with my cat looking staring straight at me thinking "What a looser." See? Even my male cat hates me! Anything with a penis and I automatically repel it...all men, far and wide, flee the streets when they see me, Annie Ball, the great penis repeller walking towards them.

At around 9 thirty I got a phone call from Zoe, saying that Will wanted to get out for a bit. The girls and Will were going to St. James' Park for the afternoon and wondered if I wanted to go. Of course I did, but I had to shake this hangover first.

I showered, got dress, left my flat in a state and caught the tube to the centre of town.

All I could think of, though, was when or if I would ever see Nick again...

Okay, Nick has just nipped to the toilet...I have to be quick!

Thing are going well...we seem to be relaxing and he seems to be enjoying himself! I am about to serve the meal I cooked....fingers crossed he likes it!

I just feel proud that I'm not spouting out my usual masterpiece of Pie and Chips...

Ooh, toilet being flushed!!! Gotta go!

Wish me luck

I did it. I called him!

A good way to start off a blog, dont you think?

I spent the best part of the weekend um-ing and aww-ing about it, and in the end I decided to finally take the plunge and do it. It didn't look like he was EVER going to call, and as far as I was concerned, I had 2 options: 1) call him or 2)forget about it. As it was obviously clear to me that option 2 was not happening any time soon, that only left me with one thing to do...

And Sunday afternoon was when I did it. I called the number he had given me at around 4pm on Sunday, and then hung up as soon as I had pressed the last button. How lame is that? Doing what they always do in the movies, when someone is nervous about making a call and they dial the number, then have a change of heart and hang up? That's what I was doing for about half an hour...pathetic, I know.

Eventually, I got bored, and just let the call ring. As it kept ringing I was rehearsing what I was going to open with - "Hi, remember me?" No - that demanded an answer, and I know I would feel crappy if he simply said "Erm...No". I tried "Hi, it's Annie. The girl you never called back." - No, too sarcastic. That would just scare him off. I tried thinking of a third opener when the ringing stopped and a female voice picked up the receiver...

OH TYPICAL! I should've known! The freak that I was getting hung up over didn't call me for over a month because he is seeing someone else...that makes a whole load more sense then "Oh, he just didn't like me" or "he must be busy" or "Maybe he lost my number"...which, coincidentally, WERE the stupid questions that I kept asking myself over and over and over again!! I mean, seriously, how stupid could I be to actually believe for one second that this guy was actually genuine...that this guy was actually different. I thought I had given up being naive.

But, that wasn't the worst part! Oh no, it got much more embarrassing...

I, in my stupidity, assumed the worst and blurted out "Oh, so you're the real love of nicks life huh? The person who has been responsible for making me loose my mind over him?" or words to that effect anyway...(I think I may have sworn at her...) and then the words "Excuse me, who is this and why are you talking to me like this?" were said, and that just made it all worse - "Oh, you're playing that old game are you? Pretending you dont know who I am or what I am doing calling you up? Well, missy, I'm the girl that your boyfriend or husband or whatever went on a date with about a month ago and he NEVER called me back because he secretly had someone else...I guess that would be you". My mouth was running away with me now...when I get going, I really get going!
"Oh, you must be Annie. Yes, Nick has told me about you."
GREAT! talk about twisting the knife...
"Oh really? Well, what did he say about me then? That I was the girl that he pretended to like but really thought he would make a fool out of for his own perverse entertainment? I was really going for it now.
No, that he actually really liked you and felt it unfortunate that he had to leave town for a while on business. But, he said he was looking forward to calling you when he got back.
Oh, nice try! I've heard that one a million times! He never left the country did he? Really, the truth is, he led me down the garden path, making me think that he liked me, when really, he had you to go home to all along...either that or he met you after he met me and just decided that you were better..."
"I am his sister, Annie..."
Oh........crap. It suddenly occurred to me that I had been ranting and raving at this woman for the past 10 minutes without actually knowing who she truly was and why she was truly answering her phone.
"Oh? You...are? Bugger..."
She laughed. She seemed quite nice actually. She wasn't offended or annoyed. She just saw the funny side of it. I've always wanted to be that laid back and low maintenance, but I don't think my wish will ever come true.
"So, Nick had to leave town then?" I said, after composing myself and trying to change the subject really quickly.
"Yup. Why don't you talk to him about it yourself." She handed the phone over to Nick and a familiar voice greeted me on the other end.

He had a really sexy, deep voice. It was rather husky, and kinda made me want to clear my throat, but after a few minutes, I forgot about it and just listened to him talk. He was explaining to me that he had to leave town on an urgent matter...and that was it. He was just vague about it. I felt a little unnerved by it all actually. Was he really so mysterious that he couldn't tell me? Or was it a case of him not actually trusting me enough to tell me? Well, no, because he said he didn't tell his family or anyone...so, it cant be the trust thing...

Anyway, he went on and on about how he had to go quickly, and how he felt bad that he didn't contact me. I, of course, just said "Oh, that's okay. I wasn't really worried." Yeah right Annie. But, by the end of the conversation, somehow, he had managed to invite himself over to my flat! I mean, I hadn't even had the chance to process everything else he had told me, let alone him saying "Would it be okay if I popped round sometime?" Normally, I would think it terribly rude for a man to do that, but for some reason, I found myself saying "Absolutely. Bad move Annie. You're going to look desperate now.

Still, it was arranged and sorted out, and he is coming over TONIGHT!!! EEK! In about half an hour actually. Okay, so 4pm is actually quite early for a date, but he's coming over early to spend more time with me, apparently. How sweet?!?!?

I have the wine ready and have my romance background music CD out. I have been cooking a meal for the evening. I am really excited about everything because I don't tend to make such a fuss over a guy, but when guys normally come back to my flat, it tends to be just for sex...but not tonight. Tonight, some guy was coming over to actually talk to me and hang out and stuff...I'm not going to say sex is off the cards though!!! I shaved my legs and arms and...other..areas....a few hours ago, and am just about to go and change into something nice...there's nothing wrong with doing yourself up a bit, right?

So, what turned out to be a rather embarrassing phone call has actually ended up being a rather exciting and promising date! In half an hour!

Christ, I've got to go and get ready...I hope I'm ready for this.

I'll tell you all about what happens later on...

Yesterday was quite frankly terrible. The last week has probably been the worst of 2007 for me so far, and just to make everything sting a little bit more, my boss decides to call me at home. I mean, of all things to happen when you are "sick" you don't want your boss to call you!

I'm not going to beat myself up about it - it's partly my fault because I called in sick..again. But, a combination of being emotionally drained and a severe lack of sleep is not something that boosts your morale, and it certainly isn't something to make you want to go into work...but my boos didn't see it like that.

He called me about half an hour after I rang in to let them know I wouldn't be coming in. I thought it was going to be my line manager, Frank, who I can deal with on most occasions - but it turned out to be the general area manager, Mr. M Hughes. That's all anyone knows him as "M"...maybe it's Marc, or Matthew or even Montgomery!?! We were never told the real name of our area manager...I suppose it's to maintain a certain level of respect. God knows why, he represents the most boring, unsuccessful paint set company in Britain today. Still, whatever floats his boat is none of my business.

Anyway, I knew that I had probably over stepped the mark when I heard him introduce himself over the phone to me. God, it was like, 10:30am, and I was just about to take a shower.
"Hello Annie. This is Mr. Hughes. I'm ringing today to discuss your employment with us here" Great. That's always something I want to talk about. "Quite frankly, we are not happy. You have been taking quite a lot of time off recently, albeit occasional time in lieu, and we have been noticed a weakness developing. You can understand that we can't have weak links in our chain, Annie. It disrupts everything for everyone. I'll be honest with you, I am not a bad manager. I am a good one. I have worked really hard to build a company based on practically nothing to try and create a future for me, my family and other people - like yourself. But, there's nothing more insulting, when I give an opportunity like this to someone; an opportunity to build a career for themselves, without needed any qualifications, and they throw back at me, as if to say they are above it or whatever. I am afraid you have slipped into this bracket, Annie, and there's only one thing I can do to solve this. I'm afraid I'm letting you go."

Great. Just perfect. After everything that I have gone through this week, I really didn't need that. Getting fired is one of the most demoralising things you can go through, and it's especially hard when your best friend is stuck in hospital. I didn't tell his this though. Who am I kidding, I hated that job and was rubbish at it anyway. It was a total nightmare. This may be the perfect opportunity to start my own career and build on my own dreams to paint and design and make a good living out of it - giving his company a run for their money - the I DID tell him!! :-)

Okay, I'll stop ranting now. It's 9:30am Friday morning, and it's the end of the week at last. Finally. Monday to Thursday saw me fleeting in and out of hospital and getting more worn into the ground over the attack of Will. Then Thursday morning I get fired. So, here we are - Friday - unemployed and still worrying about Will. And it's not as if I have a loving guy to cry on. The one person who could've fit that bill never called me back.

Nick was wonderful. We had such a good date. It went so well, we connected so perfectly...why didn't he call me? Why did he just vanish off the face of the earth? Sure, I could've called him, but there are rules. I don't want to seem desperate, do I? I mean, we have met once - the guy owes me nothings. Who am I to assume that he actually wants to meet me only to let me offload my problems onto him?
We all need a rock in times of crisis, and I don't have one. I can't contact my family because they oppose me living down here anyway, and will only give me the normal lecture - 'this sort of stuff always happens in London. We warned you at the start' - and then mum will go into her 'come back and live with us and we can introduce you to the Hamley's eldest son who is doing very well at his new job' blah blah blah...they are about as supportive as a paper crutches.

I don't know...

I need to talk to someone. I could turn to Sarah and Zoe, but they are too busy with their lives - they keep themselves distracted. I don't blame them. They have jobs, sexual partners, families. What do I have? My cat.

*sigh*

....

No! I am not going to let this beat me. I am going to make sure I get myself another job so I can still rent this flat (keeping me away from moving into my families house again) and I will try and focus on the positive side of Wills attack - the rate at which he is getting better, for one. The doctors don't think it will be long before he is out, which is great news. There's always a silver lining, right?
And as for love - well, that's still a question mark. I could be the daring kind of girl I have always wanted to be and just call Nick to arrange another date. Even if it just turns out to be a night of sex, I don't care. It'll keep me going for a few more weeks. If I can't get through to him, at least then I will be able to get some sort of closure and move on. Find someone else. A nice, respectable man that can look after his woman. Yeah, that sounds like heaven, right?

But it wouldn't be enough - I see Nick when I think of a man. The bastard has engulfed me. It wouldn't have mattered if he hadn't been so drop dead gorgeous...he deliberately makes it harder for me!

Well, that's when chocolate comes in to save the day *reaches for the stash*...

Well, do I call him? Do I try and get this ball rolling again after almost a month?

Sod it...

Things are slowing down. All around me...days seem to get slower and more spaced out. Time seems to linger and moments seem to elongate. I can't seem to figure out why I feel like this at the moment...I don't really feel like I'm quite here.

Maybe that's because I am so tired. I spent all evening at the hospital yesterday. Will was conscious and getting better. He was understandably exhausted and rather 'out of it' but on the whole, he was getting better...slowly.

As I arrived, I was taken in to his room. This was the first time I had seen him since it all happened - and I can't deny that I was shocked when I saw him. His face was a mess. his familiar brown eyes were puffed up and squashed behind serious swelling. His trademark button nose had been dis-jointed and seemed to bend to the right alot more than it usually did. His lips were dry and chapped and his high cheek bones were buried under bruising and cuts. Will had been ruined.

I walked up to the bed and he turned his head around to face me. There was a brief silence of about 3 minutes but actually felt 3 days, whilst he was trying to figure me out - I guess it's hard to see anything with your eyes so swelled up. Eventually, a distant smile appeared across his face and he uttered the words...
"Annie Ball. Here you are..."

My eyes filled up with tears. I just couldn't help but to feel shattered that I hadn't contacted Will for about 2 weeks after my date with Nick. He had been such a good friend, just waiting for me at the pub, but then...

I sat down and calmed down...2 things that I no doubt needed to do. The silence descended once again, much to my annoyance. I hated silence. It made me feel awkward and uneasy. So, in my usual manner, I decided to break it...I asked him who did this? Nothing. I asked him if he was in pain? Nothing. I said he was a clumsy bugger for letting himself get attacked...this provoked something! Finally.
"What? I'm a clumsy bugger? It wasn't my fault someone sprung me late at night, was it?"
No, but it was his fault that he was walking back home so late through the quiet streets of London. I mean, I had told him so many times to catch a taxi home, but he just insisted that walking was a better thing to do - greener, or more relaxing or whatever. But, nevertheless, if he had caught a taxi, then he wouldn't be here now.

"Thing is, I did catch a taxi, Annie. I got one from work to take me home, but as I rolled up to the park, I noticed the moon was out, and I just fancied walking the rest of the journey. You know how close I am to the park? I thought that if I just walked the last couple of yards, I would at least get to appreciate the nice evening. Turned out to be the dumbest thing I've ever done."

Will continued to talk me through what happened. It was really quite an ordeal. The way Will described it - it was almost like I was there.

"I got out of the cab and had 2 routes to my flat. Round the corner of the street, or through the park to bypass it. I chose the park. I shouldn't have done really, because there are no lights in the park, but nevertheless, it seemed like a good choice at the time. So, I made my way through the park. I kept walking and noticed that the ducks on the pond were making a hell of a noise. I stopped for a brief moment to listen to them and that's when it happened." My heart started to race. "I don't really remember much, but the stuff I do remember makes me want to scream. I know that I heard silence, then very fast running, and before I could turn around to see who was running, I felt a very heavy blow against my body as I was rugby tackled to the ground. This guy was massive. Well, not massive - but he was well built. Dressed in black, of course, and wearing a hood, he pinned me down by digging his heel into my neck. I couldn't move. As I was lying there, stunned, with this guys foot almost strangling me, I remember, he calmly looked around, still restraining me with his foot, to see what was around - I was desperate for someone to casually walk past...anyone. But noone did. After he was satisfied that the area was clear, he looked back down at me and smiled. He slowly removed his foot from neck, freeing me and letting me breath once again." Will showed me the mark on his neck that started just below his ear, right through his adam's apple and down to his collar bone. It looked so painful I wanted to cry. "I caught my breath. I would've got up and ran, but my first instincts were to breath again. By the time my brain was ready to process the idea of running, he had kicked me in the stomach. My breath left me again. Then, he repeated this. I think he kicked me in the ribs too. I can't be sure, but I know the pain I have in my ribs right now isn't just a coincidence. Annie, he broke 2 of my ribs through kicking them so hard...I remember how he did it too. That's the worse part. After kicking the breath out of me in my stomach and diaphragm, winding me helpless, he rolled me onto my back, and just stamped his heel onto my ribs. I think he was wearing steel plated heels, because every time he stamped down on me, I heard a metallic chinck. By this time, I was in too much pain to fight back. He straddled me, grabbing me by the collar and pulling me up towards his face. I can remember looking right into his eyes...but, before I got chance to sketch this guys face into my memory, he started punching me in the face. Really slow, hard punches...I remember him placing a clenched fist on my nose, slowly pulling back, and then smashing it into my nose, breaking it. That's why it's all bent now..." By this time, tears were streaming down my face..."And then, just when I thought I had nothing left in me, I got this...urge to stop him. This fire started to burn inside me. After the face punching, he dropped me to the ground and he stood up. He moved away from me and went really quiet. I couldn't see him. My eyes were practically closed up. But I knew he hadn't gone because I could still hear him breathing. I rolled over, and saw him standing a few feet away from me, just looking down at my beaten pulp of a body. Not even moving. Just breathing heavily. He was tired out, I could tell. So, I don't know what it was - probably adrenaline, but, I moved my arm and fumbled the ground for something. I found a rock. It was well sized and not too heavy. Perfect kind of weapon, or at least, I thought it was. I grabbed it and threw it at him. It smashed his wrist and he let out a cry of pain. I guess I shouldn't have done it. If I had just lay there, he might have left me alone. But, he didn't. He came up to me and smashed my legs with his heavy heels again. Then, he leant into my ear, and whispered 'You shouldn't have done that William.' I'll never forget those words. That's when it happened. He pulled out a knife. I started to realise that if I didn't try and stop him, I was going to be murdered. So, I started shouting. I screamed in fact. The guy above me told me to shut up. He kept kicking me, but it only made me scream louder. I noticed, in the corner of my eye, a bedroom light come on in one of the houses that over looked the park. I shouted louder and louder. I heard a door open. So did he. I think he then said 'You little prick. Why did you have to go and do that?'. A man's voice shouted 'what's going on over there? Hey, you!' and footsteps started running. My attacker looked up and obviously saw someone running at him...I think he must've panicked. I remember lifting up my foot and kicking him as hard as I can in between his legs...what other choice did I have? That hurt him bad - I could tell. The footsteps were getting closer. That's when he stabbed me in the leg...I screamed. I remember the pain. It was almost unbearable. Seriously...getting stabbed is something that you can't describe. I can remember the pain, but I can't remember how painful it was. That doesn't make sense, I know, but it's hard to explain. All I remember is feeling a surge of intense pain and then passing out. Then, I awoke in front of a bright light, lying in this bed. I don't know who found me or who scared off the attacker, but here I am. And that's that."

I hadn't noticed that an hour had passed. I had stopped crying, but my cheeks were tear stained. I needed to wash them. I asked Will he wanted me to get him anything, and he just asked for water. So, I went and poured him some, wiping my face clean at the same time. Just then, Sarah popped in with a box of chocolates. She sombre but positive and uplifting at the same time. Will changed when she arrived, putting on a brave face, but I knew he was feeling different. I knew it was fake.

He always acted his true self with me. I guess him and I just had a really close friendship - one that made us trust each other. We were honest with each other all the time. But, when Sarah or Zoe came on the scene, we both usually changed. We had to, otherwise, the girls wouldn't be able to fit into the dynamic. It doesn't matter how weird you think it sounds - it works for us four. Our dynamic is very good.

Just as I was about to go to the toilet, 2 men in suits arrived. They were inspectors from the police force, here to question Will. Strike whilst the iron is hot I guess. They asked us to leave, and then closed the door behind us. I guess Will was telling them what he had just told me.

Then I realised - there was one thing that Will hadn't told me at all...his attacked. He hadn't described him, or told me what he looked like or what he sounded like. He was only wearing a hood, according to Will, so he probably saw his attackers face. Why didn't Will mention that to me? Maybe he just wanted to tell me quickly...I don't know.

Well, if he did see the guys face, I hope it described it to those coppers so they can try and catch this bastard.

It's 9:30am at the moment, and my kettle has just boiled. I think I am calling in sick again from work. I can't go in...I just don't have the will power.

All I can think about is Will and what happened to him...what am I going to do?

I have been in hospital for the past day. Don't worry, not for myself, but for Will.

I hadn't spoken to him in ages. In fact, I hadn't spoken to him since my date with Nick at the start of the month. Just through being busy, and I guess, self obsessed, I never got around to calling him or arranging to meet up with him and the girls. I wish I had done now.

I rang his home 2 nights ago, and his sister picked up. I've always liked Charlotte. She's a very sweet girl - a female version of Will I suppose. I know that I could be great friends with Charlotte purely because I am great friends with Will, and the only difference would be her gender! She lives down south in Brighton though...a little too far for my liking. Damn geography.

But, anyway, she answered and I asked for Will. What she said after this made my heart beat freeze right inside my chest.

"Annie, I'm afraid Will isn't here right now. He's had to be taken to hospital. He was attacked and it's not looking good."

I could tell that she was holding back her tears...normally, I would've been doing the same, but I guess the shock was just too much. I guess I was numbed a little.

Charlotte continued to explain what had happened. Apparently, Will was walking home from work, when he was approached and attacked. He was beaten up very badly and left at the side of the road. How noone saw this, or stopped it, I'll never know, but Will works late, and sometimes, walks home past 10:30pm. Never a good idea round here.

I told him on numerous occasions not to walk around late at night. We all told him to get a taxi...but, Will was certain he was safe. I guess you never expect it to happen to you or your friends...until it does.

So, I was at the hospital for about 13 hours. I took work off (no biggy there) and met the girls at the hospital. Zoe couldn't contain herself. Sarah was very quiet. Wills parents were there as well. They had come down from Cheltenham (where Will grew up) to be with him. We were all very quiet. All night long.

Eventually the doctor came out and told us that he was in a stable condition. We were all relieved. He did, however, take his parents into another room and continued to speak. Obviously, this wasn't stuff his closest friends should be hearing...bastard. We saw, through the window, Will's mum start to cry...all three of us looked at each other in fear - what had the doctor just told them? We were desperate to find out.

Then, as the doctor left the room, 2 policemen appeared as if from nowhere and went in to speak to them! The forces were doing the rounds on this one. Again, they closed the door, and again, us 3 feared the worst...was this an intentional attack? had Will been hurt worse than we thought?

It went on for ages. The talking. The interviewing. The asking of questions...yup, the police spoke to us as well. They tried to get us on our own, but we all stated that if they wanted to talk to us, then they would need to talk to all 3 of us, as we all know and love Will equally.

"This is serious. Will was beaten up, yes. Very badly in fact. But, along with this, he was stabbed." I started to shake..."Don't worry. The stab wound was not all that serious. It was in the leg, but we have reason to believe that the blade was not intended for this target." None of us quite understood what was going on...Sarah asked the all important question to clear things up though.
"What do you mean?" I think that summed up how we were all feeling right then and there.
"The nature of the cut - the length, the depth and the direction - proves that the blade was aimed higher, but was intercepted and deflected, missing the original target, but unintentionally, being re-directed into his leg. We believe that the attacker was aiming the blade for Wills chest or stomach, but Will intervened and pushed the blade away, probably trying to knock it out of the attackers hand, but instead, loosing control and suffering the blade being forced into his leg."

I had to leave. I got up and began to reach for the door handle, but he stopped me. He needed me to answer questions, and as this was for Will, I had no choice. The description of what had happened to him was too much for me to hear. It was like something from a CSI episode or something.

He asked the routine questions - how long had we known Will? how close were we to him? did we know of any enemies he had made? Truth is, Will never made enemies. He was a very popular guy. That's why this is so baffling. Why would anyone want to hurt him? And, according to the policeman, it was an intentional attack...someone was out to get Will.

*sigh*

Well, the doctor told us to go home. We weren't any good there, and his parents wanted to spend some time by his bed. We weren't told if he was conscious or anything...we were just told to go home.

I opened my front door, threw my clothes off, and fell into bed. I was so tired and weak from the shock. I just drifted off into a dreamless sleep. Before I knew it, my alarm was going off and it was 8:30am. Damn. I forgot to turn it off. That's my normal time when I am working a 10am, like I should be doing today. But, after what happened yesterday, I just couldn't go in. I called up about half an hour ago and said I wasn't coming in. I explained the reason, but my boss was a total dick about it, and just ended up saying "You've been missing alot of time recently Annie. Remember, this paint won't sell itself." He happens to think that this is my dream job and that I actually give a monkeys for it. Well, I don't. I just agreed with him and got off the line asap.

So, now, I don't know. I'm still shaken up. I'm worried about Will. I hope he got through the night okay. I'm sat here in my dressing gown with a cup of tea and a danish pastry. I'll eat it up, take some Nurofen and get ready to go visit Will again. If his parents are still there, I will see if the Police have come up with anything else...

But, one thing that has been left lingering in my mind since last night - who was Wills attacker? And why were the after Will?

The past few weeks have been slightly...how do you say it? Turbulent. Lots of things have changed, lots of things have developed and one thing has died a horrible death.

First of all, why didn't anyone tell me that computers crashed? The reason I haven't been onto my precious blog is because my computer contracted a virus of some kind. Now, getting a cold once in a while is alright - you get to take a few days off work, pretend you're worse than you actually are and have loads of Tunes sweets! But that's me. A human. When did computers start catching virus's? This baffled me, so I called up the store that sold me the computer and they were all like "Oh, yes, you didn't buy any anti virus protection off us, and because you are buying it separately now, we can't give you a discount..."

30 pounds!!!! That is how much it cost me to buy this stupid software. Not to mention the further £25 for the guy to fix it. The computer business pays well! I'm in the wrong line of work!!

Anyway, I got my computer fixed about 4 hours before I was supposed to meet Nick. I was excited. Was this is? Could this be the start of a new relationship that would make me insanely happy forever? Or would this simply be another meeting of one normal, classy woman (me) and one boring as mud, freakish man? I was full of anticipation for the whole day...eventually, 5pm rolled around and started getting ready. I decided to go through my normal ritual of having a really relaxing hot bath. I shaved my legs, my arm pits, and washed my hair twice - using some conditioner, made from papaya extract thank you very much! I got out of the bath and scrutinised my body in the mirror before me. I could've sworn I never used to look this...rubbery. My skin looked, well, dull. No life. I looked at my bum - the same down there. Note to self - treat oneself to a luxury spa weekend with girlfriends.

I did my hair and make up. Not a bad job! My outfit took me longest of all. I couldn't decide what style to go for - casual, smart, classy, a tad slutty or sweet and innocent? I guess I've never been one to flaunt it before, but it has been known, on the odd occasion, for miss Annie Ball to display what god gave her!! But, something inside me told me that tonight was not one of those nights. Instead, I just decided to kick back in jeans and a faded tee-shirt. No worries.

By about 7:10 I was ready. Will came over at about twenty past and he told me I looked like something out of the Breakfast Club. What a lovely guy! I playfully punched him in the arm...only playfully though because I happen to love that film!

7:25 rolled around and it was time for us to go. We grabbed our coats and stepped out into the cold March evening. Will told me to walk ahead, and he'll follow me about 1 minute behind, just so we didn't arrive together.

When I got to the pub, I stepped in and looked a guy about my age sitting by himself at a table. He said he would be wearing a black shirt and to look out for green shoulder bag covered in badges that would be residing on the floor by his side. These were the only clues he gave me. Were they meant to help me find him? Yes. Did I? No...

I walked from one end of the pub to the other, and could see noone fitting this description. I checked out a couple of students laughing at their table, engulfed my smoke. I saw 3 women, about my age, all looking deadly serious as they hunched around their table, protecting their drinks and discussing something top secret. Weirdo's. The token old guy was drinking his token pint of Guinness in his token corner. It was only the fact that he wasn't wearing his token Wellington boots and anorak that ruined the image!

I walked up to the bar, deciding to buy myself a drink in the hope that Nick would show up late, saving myself from the utter rejection that is being stood up. I noticed will had already bought himself a pint and was happily sat on his by the door, reading the paper!

I ordered a rum and coke, and as I was waiting for it to be poured, I noticed a great big fat girl in the far reaches of the room. She was huge, no word of a lie. She actually made me feel good about myself, which never tends to happen these days. As I was about to pull my eyes away from the rolls that were playfully teasing her under her shirt (gross) I noticed something. A slight flicker of someone, sat behind her. I couldn't quite make it out, thanks to the planet that was sat in the way, but after my drink was ready, and I had paid, I moved over to investigate - discreetly at first.

Sure enough, at the table behind hippo-girl was a man with medium long chocolate brown hair. He was wearing a black shirt that was fitted against his body, and baggy, faded jeans. He was reading some kind of magazine, and with his sleeves carelessly rolled up, one hand over his drink and the other on the magazine, I could see two very strong looking forearms, decorated with some rather interesting bracelets followed by two massive, very powerful looking hands. I checked under his table for the green bag - I wanted to be sure. No green bag covered in badges, but a red one was present. It was certainly covered in badges, but not the ones I thought! I visualised lots of badges with novelty sayings and pictures of old school cartoons, but nothing of the sort. Instead, they were depicting what looked like different countries, and different parts of countries. Mountain ranges and forests and deserts. Very interesting.

I was looking at this guy for about 3 minutes before he looked up and locked in on my gaze. His face was hard and pointy - not in a bad way mind. Almost as if he had been statue in a past life. He looked like he had been hammered out of marble, but once he saw me, all the hardness seemed to vanish instantly, and instead, a gentle softness appeared in it's place. He was unshaven - that'll have to go. I don't like stubble. Does nothing but hurt!! (god, already I was thinking of ways to change him!) and he has piercing blue eyes - and I mean piercing.

Before I knew it, I was moving over to him. Was I stood on a conveyor belt, or was he some sort of Jedi Knight, pulling me in with the force? Goodness knows, but I was moving towards him.

"Hi, I'm Nick. Confirmed. Right there. This amazing piece of mankind before was the stranger that called me up at work and sent me a random email out of nowhere...this was him. I had imagined he would've ended up being some 40 something bald guy, just out to get a quick thrill...but no. Nothing of the sort. This guy was actually, dare I say it, cute?

I sat down and took a sip of my drink. His opening line to our first conversation was a strange one. "Rum and coke drinker, huh? Can't deny that I used to enjoy that. But then I decided that coke was bad for you. I just stick with the rum now."

What kind of thing do you say to that? Oh, so you're a drunk then? or Rum? Neat? You must have a liver of steel...no, none of those things. I just decided to hit him with the universally acceptable laugh.

And that's how it went. For about 3 and a half hours. We just sat and chatted about all kinds of things, but mostly about lives. And he has lived the most amazing one. He has travelled all over the world, mountain biking and hiking across forests and deserts, through valleys and mountains. All the badges signify places that he has been. He talked me through them all and I listened with fascination.

Of course, when it came to my life, I talked about sod all. I had been to this uni, got this mickey mouse degree and worked at this crappy little place and had no life outside of my flat. I hadn't travelled anywhere, apart from the annual family holiday to Cornwall...talk about lame.

It was rolling on for 11:30pm and last orders had been called. People were going home, and the room becoming more and more quiet. Our conversation was still alive though. I could listen to him to talk all night. But then I remembered Will. Shit! Will!! He had been sitting for HOURS in this pub, just in case anything had gone wrong for me. I bet he had gone home by now though. He was round the corner, on the other side of the pub, so I couldn't actually see him.

As we called it a night, we stood up and put our coats on. We exchanged the typical "It was nice meeting you" and "We should do it again sometime" before I watched him walk out. That was it. No kiss, no walking me back to my flat. He didn't even drop a flirtatious hint that he would be up for a one night stand...what was this? Had I actually met a nice man?

Oh, and the bag? He said it was green but it turned out to be red...turns out, he's colour blind. I was surprised that he told me that, but I guess it's not that important.

I walked around the bar and in the corner, sure enough, I saw Will. He had waited for me. The whole night. He was just texting someone on his phone I think. I walked up to him and asked him how he was. He was tired, and lets face it, slightly drunk! A whole night in a pub by yourself? That's going to happen.

I told him briefly that the night went really well and that Nick was amazing.
"Really? Great, well, I'm pleased for you. At least he didn't turn out to be the bald guy you were fearing."
That much was true. Nick was certainly not what I had been expecting.

We got up and I gave Will a hug and thanked him for being such a great friend. He waited all night for me and he didn't even mind. What a guy!

So that was my first ever date with Nick. It was crazy! Surreal and slightly unexpected, but in many ways, wonderful. Oh god, I sound desperate don't I? I bet I sound like I'm falling in love with him? Well, in all honesty, I'm not. I'm just glad to have finally met a nice guy.

At least, I thought he was a nice guy...

We met on Saturday the 10th. It's now been over 2 weeks and NOTHING! He said he would call me because that's what he liked to do, but he hasn't even dropped me a line. Not one. I mean, you would've thought that after such an awesome date, he would've called me once, even just to say "Annie, I want nothing more to do with you, you are boring old frump. That would be fine, just as long as he called...okay, forget that. It wouldn't be fine. If someone said that to me, even the milkman, I would want to cry for about a month!!

Well, it's 10am, and I am not working today. I worked all last night, answering phones to the morons who feel it necessary to call at midnight to find out about their paint order. Three words....GO TO BED!

*sigh*

I'm grumpy because he hasn't called. Why hasn't he called? I don't know. I am going to call Will. I haven't actually spoken to him since my date, so I think we need to catch up. I'm sure he would be interested to know that Nick doesn't keep his word...